Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
