Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
