How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
