who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
