Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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