The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
