Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
