I cannot find my penis.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
