I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
