What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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