Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
As shirtless as possible
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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