my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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