Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
