He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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