please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
