I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
