The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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