Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
