shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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