my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
