If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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