Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
