so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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