So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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