Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
