this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
