She said her name was "party"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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