Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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