I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
