you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
