just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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