Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
