so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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