Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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