I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
