Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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