i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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