But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
