Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How does one acquire holy water?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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