I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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