so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
