There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
