His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
