Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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