The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
