Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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