I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
