bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
