Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
