Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
