Ambien. No doubt about it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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