I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
