Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
