They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have fence marks all over my body
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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