I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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