it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
