I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
