ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Too much gin, very little bucket
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
