I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
