hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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