i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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