you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
