I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize